I detest living alone ... here's why.
My take on living alone, why it is not for me and through experience what you can do to make it work for you!
As a teenager, all I wanted to do was get out of my house and stay on my own. I went to a residential college for graduation (Institute of Hotel Management, Aurangabad) and to the UK (Leeds University Business School) for my post-graduation. Between the two I TRIED to stay in a home away from home, far from civilization (a bit exaggerated but true) and travelled up and down for work and to meet my family. I’m married today live with my husband and 4 adorable cats, but the second my husband travels I get lonely. And he travels quite a bit.
As I write this post, I am wondering back to the times when I have EVER lived truly alone.
👉 In college I had roommates or flatmates
👉 On a trip, I always went with friends or family. The one solo trip I did was in a group, strangers true but wasn’t alone
Hmmm … am I weird? Am I not confident to live independently? Am I afraid of the ghost in the closet? (OK, this one I am .. lil bit 😦) But the real answer to this is NO. I like being with and around people, around live-action and in the midst of a thriving community. And why not? We were meant to live with others, we were meant to share, care, BEAR! A nomadic life is NOT for everyone, I mean even children are sometimes born in twos & threes, just so that they have company in the womb too 😉
But. But. BUT!
I am not saying living alone is BAD. It works out for a lot of people. Some people thrive in an environment where they live and work on their own, some people are thrown into it by circumstances and just get used to that life. To each his own, right? Right.
Today, I wanted to share with you why living alone doesn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong it has its huge benefits too. Some quickies below from “Life of Sanaya”
Living Alone is Hard
When you’re on your own, life can be EVEN more of a b**ch than you think. You’re in charge of everything (YAYYYY 😍) but you’re also in charge of EVERYTHING (NOOOO 😱) Right from cleaning, cooking, washing, drying, hosting a party, deciding what to watch on Netflix or what to wear to work.
Living Alone is Scary
I cannot emphasize this more. It can get too quiet even if the music is on. I’m always flinching at the slightest of movements or noises (inside the house or out). And yes I have ALMOST completely stopped watching horror movies and YET I’m afraid that something is going to jump at me from behind the door. Ghost, Thief, Cat, Lizard)
Living Alone is Boring
When I’m eating alone, it can go one of two ways. I will overeat or not eat anything at all. Isn’t always handy to have someone to help you pick and make your meals? And who wouldn’t like a helping hand with chores or restock the house with essentials? I am always wondering what to watch, or asking the air the meaning of a word, or talking to myself about “how my day was?” when Rohan is not around. I love my me-time and my date with me, but it’s better when I know there’s someone in the house if I hit my head against the wall.
Living Alone is Expensive
You got to make a choice. Everyone knows buying in bulk gets you better deals (usually). So, you’re either going to stock up on things or pay a premium for singles. And then you’re the one paying all the bills, the unexpected expenses, the decor costs, the comfort costs, the everything-under-the-sun costs. Of course, you can reach out when you’re in dire circumstances, but the fact of the matter is, for the most of it you’re on your own.
But who doesn’t love their freedom, their independence, their “free will”. I can watch all my favourite girly shows and movies. I can have all my Zoom calls on the loudspeaker instead of earphones. I can work as late as I want, and wake up to a lazy morning. LIFE IS PRECIOUS!!!! I am envious of those who live alone and thrive, but more than 10 days and I will get cranky, lonely, needy, wanty, and will resort to retail therapy (ALARM! point no. 4)
So I decided to make the most of living alone when I had to. And these few tips and hacks work wonderfully long term and short term, whether you’re happy living by yourself or with family. You might value personal space but still have moments where you long for human interaction and that’s when some of this might help 😃
1. Have a structure to your day
You know you’re going to “cheat” on this structure a few times, but when you have a certain set schedule of things you do at the right times, it won’t make you feel so lonely. Set alarms & reminders for various tasks, they’re close enough to your mom calling you for lunch or doing the chores.
2. Get a basic toolbox
Having handy tools in the house helps you in emergencies. It’s ok to break your nail once in a while! A step further, save some Youtube quick-handy-life-hacks-DIY tutorial videos. You won’t waste time at the last moment as I have in the past. And always have your security guard’s no. He’s your BEST FRIEND, trust me!
3. Have your first-aid & medicines box stocked, MUST!
You’re going to fall sick. It’s going to get bad at times, it’s going to be a false alarm at times but always be prepared. Remember, in sickness and in health, you CHOSE to live apart. So in the middle of the night, YOU are going to nurture yourself with a warm blanket, the right medicines, and simple food. (Pro Tip: Also keep all your medical information handy in case of an accidental emergency)
4. Plan for Boredom
I add things on my Watchlist, I download a whole bunch of books, and I stock my fridge with all the ingredients I will need to make fancy foods for myself (P.S. I land up making extra and feeding it to others) This is YOUR time to do what you like if that means dancing, yoga, painting, DO IT. Express your inner self. (Insider Tip: this is my fav. part of being alone when I am alone)
5. In case of emergency call …
On your phone, save all your emergency nos. in favourites so you can get to them quickly. (Pro Tip: Add the name to your contact ‘Mom’ or ‘Hubby’). Make a list of these nos. in physical form as well! Make it simple for someone who wants to help you to reach out to your loved ones.
Living along definitely comes with a lot of Freedom. Freedom to do and how to do what you want, freedom to decorate, organize your space (and life) your way, freedom from the quirks & pet peeves of others, the list goes on. But like with everything, it has its Ups and Downs. So no harm in physically and mentally preparing for better or worse.
In my opinion, some people are well-suited to it and for others, it can be a struggle. But if you’re new to this Living Alone journey or are planning on making this choice sometime soon ask yourself these 3 questions:
❓When was the last time you’ve lived by yourself and how long? Did you enjoy it and for how long?
❓How “alone” do you really want to be? Will you live close to friends & family or Are you going to isolate yourself in the Himalayas?
❓Are you practically, mentally, financially, emotionally, any-other-ally prepared for this? If not, then STOP, take a moment and think it over once again.
And hey, always remember, you may be LIVING alone, but you’re NOT alone in life!
💖S
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I have lived alone in Mumbai before I got married and I would LOVE it!!Living alone once in a while is good for my wellbeing and I do that by taking small solo breaks. However, initially I would get scared in the nights of 'ghost's during these breaks😄
It's a good time to just unwind and introspect and spend some MEE time
Very insightful! I've always fantasized living alone. But this is getting me to weigh my cons :)